Humanize your brand.

Robots are cool and all, but human connection is what will turn your clients and customers into loyal, raving brand fans.
SOMEONE’S VISITING YOUR SITE.

WANT THEM TO STAY?

You’ve got 8 seconds
to convince ’em.

Eight measly seconds. That’s the average time a visitor spends on your site before deciding if they should bail or not. Most websites lose 50% or more of their visitors in that time. But with a strong brand identity and killer copy, you can keep them around WAY longer. Scout’s honor.

HERE ARE SOME OTHER THINGS
YOU CAN DO IN 8 SECONDS:

Hopefully you can stick it out, because in American bull riding, it isn’t considered a qualified ride unless you’re able to cling on for dear life for 8 seconds or more.

Despite being told not to, bookstore browsers devote an average of 8 seconds analyzing the front cover of a book. (In comparison, they’ll spend 15 seconds reviewing the back cover.) See how important great copy is?

Not unlike with websites or books, you have 8 seconds to grab an employer’s attention with your résumé. If you pass the test, you might just score an interview!

Studies have found that it takes a person an average of 8 seconds to answer the phone. (But we’re not fooled – we know you’re just playing it cool and waiting for the third ring.)

Did you know it takes approximately 8 seconds from the time you swallow food until it reaches your stomach? Our own personal research has shown that it takes much longer for feelings of *hanger to subside.

Hangeradjective: the state of being irritable as the result of hunger.

Apparently it takes chimps an average of 8 seconds to uh… reach completion. ALSO, female chimpanzees are known to get it on up to 15 times per hour (which I think we can all agree is a little excessive). That being said, if you’re reading this, mating with a chimp is one of those 8-second things you shouldn’t do.

Isn’t the internet neat?

LET YOUR BRAND SPEAK.

Your brand is so much more than a logo or a set of fonts and colors. It’s an identity. It’s a voice, an attitude, a personality, a vibe. It’s what brings them to you in the first place… & what makes them stay. It’s an opportunity to connect. It’s an outstretched hand in a noisy digital world. Take it.

ONLINE, EVERY IMPRESSION MATTERS.

THAT’S WHERE WE COME IN.

Give your brand that je ne sais quoi.

Your brand is unique and it’s crucial to reflect that. We’ll help you understand and reign in your branding to attract your dream audience.

Make 'em wanna be pen pals.

Ain’t nobody got time for snail mail. But with our magic touch, you can send off email campaigns and newsletters that have subscribers lurking their inboxes.

Blog your heart out.

If content is King, your blog is the kingdom! We’ll help you rule it with SEO-friendly content that your “royal subjects” crave.

Set your sales page on FIRE.

Ready to launch your newest product or service? We’ll highlight your offer with copy that converts, so you can kick off with a BANG! (And make those dolla dolla bills, y’all.)

Dazzle with web copy.

We’ll strip your brand down to its birthday suit and write site copy that showcases your best products or services – with personality.

Love your friend zone.

Engaging your social audience is time consuming, but *so* important. We’ll help you get the conversation going and keep ’em coming back for more.

Think we'd make a good team?

We can’t wait to hear about your project!
Give us the deets and we’ll send over a FREE quote.

Meet the Collective

We’re just a bunch of marketing nerds who get giddy about great brand experiences.

Collectively (ha), we hold degrees in English, Business Administration, Advertising/PR, Psychology, and Culinary Arts.
(We’ve also managed to drop out of school for art, political science, and gender studies. Oops.)

We’ve worked as Marketing Assistants, Product Managers, Content Directors, Community Managers, and Web Developers.
(But let’s not forget Face Painter, Cross Country Tour Guide, Lifeguard, DJ, Gas Station Attendant, Legal Intern, Bouncer, and Bartender.)

We’ve lived all over the United States – from population 4000 towns to major cities, east coast to west coast. (And we’re still all over the map.)

But we’ve found our calling in helping brands succeed…
most often while working in our PJs.
 
JOANNA CARPENTIER
JOANNA CARPENTIER
Founder / Copywriter / Brand Strategist
JUSTINE PATINO
JUSTINE PATINO
Copywriter / Designer
Connor Malloy
Connor Malloy
Business Development Manager / Copywriter
JOHN BACON
JOHN BACON
Web Developer
Ariel Carron
Ariel Carron
Copywriter / Digital Marketer
igby!
igby!
Mascot / Resident Seat Stealer

Ready for your close-up?

If you’ve been struggling to find your brand’s voice,
allow yourself the opportunity to explore.

Brands are complex creatures, just like you and I.
Just like our own personalities, it can be difficult
to show the world exactly who and what your brand is.

But by better understanding who your brand is for,
you can develop a voice that speaks to and resonates with
your ideal audience.

With a clear brand identity, you can be more yourself
and see better results for it.

We can help.

Collective Thoughts

LATEST READS FROM THE SALTHAUS BLOG

Our clients ♡ us...

JoAnna is AMAZING. I've worked with a lot of writers, and no one has even been close to the talent and professionalism this lady has in her pinky finger. I officially want her to write everything I publish from now on after only working together a few short weeks.

Kaye Putnam

Founder // Kaye Putnam Brand Strategy

Salthaus Collective
2017-05-09T10:48:13+00:00

Kaye Putnam

Founder // Kaye Putnam Brand Strategy

JoAnna is AMAZING. I've worked with a lot of writers, and no one has even been close to the talent and professionalism this lady has in her pinky finger. I officially want her to write everything I publish from now on after only working together a few short weeks.

We love JoAnna! Her writing is witty and engaging, plus she's quick and easy to work with.
She turned 20 pages of (vague) bullet points into 32 fabulous emails, in about two weeks = mind blown!
Working with her is a no brainer.

Allison Haag

Content Marketer // Teachable

Salthaus Collective
2017-05-09T11:22:38+00:00

Allison Haag

Content Marketer // Teachable

We love JoAnna! Her writing is witty and engaging, plus she's quick and easy to work with. She turned 20 pages of (vague) bullet points into 32 fabulous emails, in about two weeks = mind blown! Working with her is a no brainer.

JoAnna's chops as a copywriter are a rare and beautiful thing.
I'm always happy to recommend her to my clients.
Not only is her writing full of style and swagger, it's also got heart and soul,
AND she knows about writing to convert. 5 stars.

Tarzan Kay

Founder // Tarzan Kay Copywriting

Salthaus Collective
2017-05-09T11:56:12+00:00

Tarzan Kay

Founder // Tarzan Kay Copywriting

JoAnna's chops as a copywriter are a rare and beautiful thing. I'm always happy to recommend her to my clients. Not only is her writing full of style and swagger, it's also got heart and soul, AND she knows about writing to convert. 5 stars.

We hired JoAnna for the copywriting of our website as well as company descriptions on various social media platforms.
She did a fantastic job. Really great at communicating. Will surely do business with her again soon!

Nan Hao

Founder + CEO // Guiker

Salthaus Collective
2017-05-09T11:58:15+00:00

Nan Hao

Founder + CEO // Guiker

We hired JoAnna for the copywriting of our website as well as company descriptions on various social media platforms. She did a fantastic job. Really great at communicating. Will surely do business with her again soon!

& the feeling is mutual.

Guiker